Hands to bathe....?

Now here's a strange thing - "Hands to bathe".

I witnessed this phenomenon whilst on the Yarmouth in 1984. We were somewhere in the Mediterranean at the time with no land in site.

Now I love the sea, don't get me wrong, but I also respect it. It's a mysterious place. At once benign and calm then a raging cauldron. Over time we learn more about the sea and it's denizens.

I do enjoy a dip in the sea from time to time. However, I choose these times carefully; particularly the location. The depths of the oceans are still a relatively undiscovered place- we don't really know all of the secrets it holds.

So, let me tell you about 'Hands to bathe'. The ship comes to a stop in the middle of some ocean or other - on this occasion the Med. It's a warm sunny day, so why not give the crew a little relaxation in the form of a refreshing dip? Drape a couple of climbing nets over the side and away you go!

'Hands to bathe!" is piped over the ship's tannoy. Then, to my amazement, large numbers of the crew throw themselves over the side into the water - for a swim! I think this is some form of madness - surely. Here we are in the ocean in the middle of nowhere and the troops think it a great idea to have a dip.

To my mind, this seems a particularly bad idea. We have no idea what is swimming below us in the murky depths - a great white, perhaps, or a killer whale - I could go on. Am I the only one to have seen Jaws!

Of course, we know now, from the countless wildlife documentaries, that the seas hunters often mistake bathers for their lunch! I can think of nothing that would convince me to leap over the side for a refreshing dip!

Never fear, though. The crew are well protected. There are a couple of crew members at either end of the ship with SLRs (the Navy's standard rifle) keeping watch for unwanted visitors! Well, that's alright then. I'd hate to see what happens if a school of sharks pays a visit for a mid morning snack. I think there would be pandemonium - 2 riflemen not sure whether to fire or not and 40 odd seamen trying to scramble up a climbing net!

'Hands to bathe' - I don't bloody think so!